FOLK COLLECTION 11: The Skaggs Foundation Cowboy Poetry Collection

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More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Lost In Paradise

I hunted deer one day this fall, with some Forest Service Guys, they knew this country like a book. The in's, the out's, the why's. Of course, me? I'm a stranger,

track, hunters, exhaustion, coffee, lunch box

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Payin' Thru The Nose...Literally

Now, I don't claim to be a hog man, although I've owned a few; And I've had some sad experiences I'll just relate to you.

corn, grin, fresh water, breeder

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

I Guess It Makes Sense

Now, I've never had a problem with my weight in 60 years; Puttin' on some extra pounds was the last of all my fears.

crime, cigarette, smoke, treat, fatter, belly

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Guess Who?!?!?

I know of a Feller and he is the "Pits"; He writes for the "Digest", and uses his witts. Some of it's facts and ideal information; For the Rancher and Cowman as their occupation.

statistics, news, clues, taper, strength, laughter, craziest

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Both In The Same Boat

My wife keeps on reminding me, that my memory's fadin fast; The days she can trust me to do things, are not a thing of the past! She'd had to remind me to pick up feed,

projects, disgusted, stove, clue, memories, peel, angry

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

So Simple, It's Complicated

My wife decides she needs a new car, so we travel from lot to lot; We look at the makes and the models, to see what these joker's have got. Myself, I am a pickup man,

gas, screwdriver, cap, pump, surprise

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Ponderin"

When you're out ridin' a long ways from camp; No one to talk to and you're chilly and damp. Your mind goes to driftin' and you think of the past;

moon, night, light, old, pain, insane, dead, fun

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Good Intention's

Now I've never, ever liked to shave, and do just now and then; Only when I have to, or sometimes maybe when. My wife will tell me, "It is time"!, Well, you don't argue then;

razor, spray, doubt, sore, steam job, protect, blade, protect, detect, glasses

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Easy Money

Now, I know there's been many a farmer; Who's received a government check for not raising certain crops; If well off or "up to his neck". So a guy down the road that I know of;

hogs, stink, production, venture, greet, corn, care

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Coincidence

I thought I'd take a journey, that would take me far away; To get away from the people I knew, I felt the U.S.A. and all was going well until, one day I chanced to see.

Virgin Islands, St. Thomas, money, cake, trip

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Fashions Of The Future

Now, you know it ain't no secret. Mother Nature calls us all; Regardless of sex or age, the short, the fat, the tall! Now, all my life, I'd wander up, to a urinal hangin there;

underwear, bikinis, strange, laundry, reason

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

My Dog

Many a poet has written 'bout dogs, some say are man's best friend; Their constant four legged pardner, who've been faithful to the end, It might be he's a cowdog, or one who's saved his life;

fence, bark, cow, door, awake, poop, neighbors, carpet, garbage

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Prolonged Pain!

I stopped at this farmer's place, 'cause my gas guage was on E; So I pulled off the Interstate, the first place I could see! They had some fall calves in the chute,

sheep, steers, calves, agony, knife, fun

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

No Charge

The Boss told all the cowhands, "No long distance calls allowed"; No problem with all local calls, but none outside "this crowd". and so it was down thru the years,

bill, home, helephone, lonesome, thrill

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Ugh!!!!!

I walked into a restroom, in the Court House one spring day; To relieve a constant pressure, that I felt along the way! Then my thoughts just started driftin',

corridor, flush, mission, kidding, home, roam

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Evolution???

These two old cowpokes sat and talked; the subject? Evolution, and neither one was smart enough; to have the right solution. One said,

true, caves, confuse, monkey, survived, God

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Wonder Horses

I went to a horse sale in Phoenix, and before the start of the sale; A feller came down from Utah, with a doubting whale of a tale! he claimed these two "snides"

tailgate, talent, clown, walk, guarantee

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Two And Two Makes Four

You know, I've got this cousin, and he's an awful lot like me; He can't do two things at a time, (Must run in the Family Tree)! We were loading bales on day,

job, track, unload, sore, counts, extra

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

A Hippy, A Yuppy, And A Flower Child

We went on a trip for a week or two, and when we got home there was plenty to do; So we caught up on different jobs without fail; Of course, we opened up all of the mail.

razor, scrape, smile, Flower Child, trend

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

A New Approach!

Now, I'm just a country boy, but to tell you, I will start; What I saw the other night, that I don't think too smart! I've heard of different fellers,

kiss, secretly, beat, experiment, ticklish

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

E.W. "Roy" Miller

"Told Off"

Now, you've heard of facial tissue, and heck yes, I have too! But I've always called it Kleenex, at least I usually do! But down there by the bunk house,

tissue, shack, kleenex, grease, complexioned

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

100

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Tag Soup!

I heard this guy complainin' it even was in church! 'Bout how the way these Black Hills Bucks left him in a lurch! How they were smart and cunning,

swallow, fellowship, invest, cake, lucky, beef

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

101

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Liberation Celebration

With One Hundred Years of progress, in this great State of ours; We celebrate The Centennial, with "Yahews! Cheers and Flowers". The Wagon Train and Teamsters,

past, town, journy, cushion, complain, impatient

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

106

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Massive Massage

One winter Charlie rode each day, a'lookin; after stock; He was grainin' way too heavy, "Snort" was harder than a rock! Then one day Charlie stepped astride,

suit, birthday, naked, fire, glow, snow

More Hilarious Happenings and Other Cowboy Poetry

FC 11 M-63

107

E.W. "Roy" Miller

Growing Pains!

I sat in a barber shop, cuttin' my hair; Listening to small talk, and a hunter was there. He'd just shot a buck, with a pretty nice rack;

truck, luck, whale, lesson, pool