FOLK COLLECTION 11: The Skaggs Foundation Cowboy Poetry Collection
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Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
18
Paul Thomas Lillard
Army Days
While in the army, I tried to get my sergeant to agree that if I didn't bother him he wouldn't bother me.
sergeant, army, bother
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
18
Paul Thomas Lillard
KP
I'm pullin' KP again today, fourth time in a row.
kitchen patrol, punishment, argument, sereagnt
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
19
Paul Thomas Lillard
More Army
Lock and load lock and load on the firing range today, and after firing when shown my score, I heard my sergeant say
shooting, fear, army
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
19
Paul Thomas Lillard
Short History of Hookers
"Hookers", a word to describe gals in a certain trade who sell their favors to certain buyers for which they must be paid.
hooker, girl, civil war, history
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
24
Paul Thomas Lillard
Noah
The Bible says that Noah an ark was told to build and when completed he was told that it should be filled
bible, noah, flood, ark, whales
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
25
Paul Thomas Lillard
Gorillas
They say the gorilla is a gentle beast or so I've read in books, but I wonder if that's true judging by his looks.
gentle, gorilla, wild
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
26
Paul Thomas Lillard
Remedy
If you've sprained your knee and it hurts like hell, it throbs and aches and begins to swell,
pain, heal, remedy
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
26
Paul Thomas Lillard
Bad Advice
"Go get yourself a hearing aid," my friends all said to me. "You can't hear a doggone thing, that ain't how it should be."
hearing aid, advice
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
27
Paul Thomas Lillard
Were You Aware of Sir Thomas Crapper???
Sir Thomas Crapper Knight of the Realm. Do you know what he did? He invented the flushing toilet with the lifting lid.
crapper, knight, toilet
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
28
Paul Thomas Lillard
Changing Times
Now the world is changing, the cold war it is done. The Berlin Wall tumbled down, two Germanys are one.
change, cold war, cia
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
28
Paul Thomas Lillard
Religions
A crucifix on the table stood and a statue of Buddha made of wood.
religion, caution, symbol
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
29
Paul Thomas Lillard
Short Round
If you think that life is cruel, consider the fate of the castrated mule.
frustration, castration
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
30
Paul Thomas Lillard
Little Boy Blue
Little Boy Blue didn't do his job; he didn't blow his horn, he was off doing something else as the cows got into the corn.
bo peep, little boy blue, peeping
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
31
Paul Thomas Lillard
Short Round
Knights so bold in days of old oh, what troubles they had. They had to abhor the armor they wore when they had to go real bad.
bathroom, knight
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
31
Paul Thomas Lillard
Aides
When a senator or a congressman sits upon the throne,
toilet, aide, help
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
32
Paul Thomas Lillard
By Any Name
Call it a toilet or maybe the throne, by many names is it known.
toilet, crapper, names
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
32
Paul Thomas Lillard
Notice Notice Notice
The thief and robber Eustice Payne age twenty-six years from Pantucky, Maine, for murder and robbery and horse theft too will be hung by the neck as is his due.
ad, wanted, announcement
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
34
Paul Thomas Lillard
Eustice Payne
June 15, 1886 Township of Roe Arizona Territory The Reverend and Mrs. Solomon Payne, the Holyrod Church, Pantucky, Maine
obituatry, parents, letter
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
38
Paul Thomas Lillard
The Calvary Charge
Poets loved to write about in the days of old, the Calvary charge, man and horse, oh, they were so bold.
calvary, poet, horse
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
39
Paul Thomas Lillard
My Doctor
When I go to see my doctor, I know exactly what to say. For my doctor will ask me, "How do you feel today?" So I tell him Right off the the bat, "Not doing all that good." And he'll begin to check me out like a dedicated doctor should.
trick, weight, distraction
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
40
Paul Thomas Lillard
Bad Casting
When Doris Day played Calamity Jane, I went to see the show and it called to mind a picture of Jane I'd seen long ago.
actress, calamity jane
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
40
Paul Thomas Lillard
Old Yeller Cat
As I sat outside one sunny day an old tom cat came my way.
alley cat, scars, sex
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
42
Paul Thomas Lillard
The Alamo Saloon
In the good old summertime on the hottest days of the year, there ain't nothin' quite so good as a can of Alamo beer. Now, the Alamo is a fine saloon as anyone can see.
bar, beer, credit
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
43
Paul Thomas Lillard
Water
I like to drink cool spring water; it always pleases me, clear and sparkling, soothing my thirst refreshing as can be;
water, beer, refreshing
Poems from the Alamo Saloon
FOLK COLL 11 L-45
43
Paul Thomas Lillard
Gout
My big toe swelled up again, another attack of gout, And I couldn't think of what I'd done to bring on such a bout.
toe, beer, sick, amputate