FOLK COLLECTION 11: The Skaggs Foundation Cowboy Poetry Collection

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

127

Paul Thomas Lillard

Sherman

"War is hell,"Sherman said as he watched Atlanta burn.

civil war, sherman, quote

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

128

Paul Thomas Lillard

Sally

When Sally performed her act one day, she happened to drop her fan.

nudity, fan, show

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

128

Paul Thomas Lillard

Stanley and Livingstone

Stanley went to Africa, the task he was assigned, by his paper there to go and Livingstone to find.

africa, exploration, livingstone

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

129

Paul Thomas Lillard

Short Round I

Hang 'em high hang 'em fast. That was the law in the past.

hanging, law, regret

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

129

Paul Thomas Lillard

Short Round II

It's very wrong, you must understand, to grab a rattler with your hand.

rattle, rattlesnake, hand, bite

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

130

Paul Thomas Lillard

Short Round III

Now, about the bear I think it's wise to consider his problem and sympathize.

bear, skin, ugly, sympathize

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

130

Paul Thomas Lillard

Short Round IV

If in a 'gator's open mouth you would jam a stick, just be sure , if you will that's it very thick.

stick, alligator, mouth

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

132

Paul Thomas Lillard

Moses

Now Moses was a great man. No one doubts it, no one can. He led his people who wished to be free out of Egypt and tyranny.

israel, prophet, moses

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

134

Paul Thomas Lillard

Short Round

Now I'm not lazy as some folk think. It's just that I like to drink.

drink, lazy, rhyme

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

135

Paul Thomas Lillard

Mama's Baking Day

I remember back when Mama would bake blueberry muffins or maybe a cake.

bake, bowl, lick, muffins

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

135

Paul Thomas Lillard

Last Words

The German dirigible neared the ground where lots of people were standing 'round.

hindenburg, fire, captain

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

136

Paul Thomas Lillard

Mongooses

Mongooses Mongeeses, what's the proper word?

mongoose, multiple, name

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

137

Paul Thomas Lillard

Overpopulation

Someone said, Or maybe I read, that somewhere on this earth that some woman every ten seconds will be giving birth.

birth, population, stop

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

137

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Ape Man

When the ape man swung through the trees, he was naked if you please.

tarzan, nudity, injury, caution

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

139

Paul Thomas Lillard

Bad Choice of Words

My nose is broken my ribs they hurt, I lie here bleeding in the dirt.

word choice, insult, ass, donkey

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

139

Paul Thomas Lillard

Travel Advice

If you would travel in cannibal land, there are some things you must understand.

cannibal, travel, meal

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

141

Paul Thomas Lillard

Payback Time

I knew a man who had a mule and to that critter he was awfully cruel.

mule, cruelty, revenge, kick

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

142

Paul Thomas Lillard

Salesmanship

If a woman with mismatched feet comes in to buy some shoes, you must not say, "One foot is larger." That will not amuse.

wording, sell, feet, shoes

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

142

Paul Thomas Lillard

Nature

Don't be embarrassed, I contend when you've burped or broken wind.

natural, fart, burp, king, common

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

142

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Pill

I ran into a friend of mine just the other day.

man, pill, pregnancy

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

143

Paul Thomas Lillard

Hashmarks

Those hashmarks on my undergarments cause me much despair, so I always go to the Laundromat when there's no one there.

dirty, laundry, underwear

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

144

Paul Thomas Lillard

Wives

Wives are wonderful, wives are great, it's a lucky man who's got a mate.

lucky, wife, life

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

144

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Good Life

I wish I were in Congress. What a joy that would bring, to sit upon my ass all day and never do a thing.

congress, lazy, pay, sit

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

144

Paul Thomas Lillard

True Love

When I said good-bye to my Mooseme; with a tear in her voice, I heard her say, "Paul-san, I will be true. While you're in Korea I wait for you.

japanese, korea, whore

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

145

Paul Thomas Lillard

Success

Never be a success layin' in bed, I heard that's what some wise man said.

hooker, success, business