FOLK COLLECTION 11: The Skaggs Foundation Cowboy Poetry Collection

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

149

Paul Thomas Lillard

More Wild Life

Once a pair of crocodiles washed up on a deserted isle.

deserted isle, survival, male

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

150

Paul Thomas Lillard

Children

A constant source of joy and amusement: of children, it is said, but I think whoever said it had gravel in his head.

children, joy, stupid

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

150

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Gooney Bird

Of all the things on land and sea, the gooney bird is the oddest to me.

bird, fly, grace, land, absurd

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

150

Paul Thomas Lillard

Mules

The way to handle a balky mule is to never lose your cool. Talk to him in a friendly way, you might even offer a bit of hay.

stubborn, plead, turpentine

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

152

Paul Thomas Lillard

Books

Books and me are the best of friends. I'm always sorry when one ends, for I very much like spending the time

books, reading, beer, poetry

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

153

Paul Thomas Lillard

Picnic

The dudes of Washington in eighteen hundred and sixty-one all went out to watch the fun fancy carriages ladies fair well-dressed gents.

bull run, civil war, picnic

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

153

Paul Thomas Lillard

Rasputin

Rasputin was, or so I've read, a very evil monk. He was lewd and lecherous and was usually drunk.

russian, romanov, kill, death, drown, difficulty

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

156

Paul Thomas Lillard

Druthers

I would rather a sergeant than a private be. Sergeants don't pull k.p. They get more passes and money too than the privates ever do.

sergeant, privilege, privates

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

157

Paul Thomas Lillard

Short Rounds

Michelangelo painted the Chapel lying on his back. I read it once in a book. It must be a fact.

facts, history, random

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

160

Paul Thomas Lillard

Matter of Choice

A burp or a belch what difference between the two?

burp, belch, difference

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

161

Paul Thomas Lillard

Things I See

Giant roaches climb the wall snakes are on the floor bats that circle 'round the room zombies by the door.

drunk, hallucination, vision

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

161

Paul Thomas Lillard

Dinosaurs

They say dinosaurs were a failure but I don't think that's so.

failure, earth, mankind

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

162

Paul Thomas Lillard

Another Matter of Choice

Drink lots of liquids I hear tell and do it everyday.

hydration, beer, doctors

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

162

Paul Thomas Lillard

History is Bunk

Grant took Richmond, so history says, but I say it ain't so. No Union army ever got to Richmond 'til Lee, he let it go.

history, false, civil war

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

163

Paul Thomas Lillard

Attila the Hun

In a camp outside the town of Orlean, sat Attila the Hun and his mood was mean. He'd laid siege to this little town but was having no luck and was feeling down.

gunpowder, hun, chinese, orlean

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

170

Paul Thomas Lillard

History

It should amaze you if you're like me how writers have twisted our history.

history, twisted, victory, massacre, west

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

171

Paul Thomas Lillard

More Advice

If you would possessions amass, never tell your boss to kiss your ass.

boss, insult, pay

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

172

Paul Thomas Lillard

Surprise

"Son of a bitch," said General Custer as he sat his horse all a fluster.

custer, sioux, surprise

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

172

Paul Thomas Lillard

More Short Rounds

They all said nobody peeked when Godiva made her ride, but you know what I think? I think somebody lied.

godiva, pen, sword

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

173

Paul Thomas Lillard

Lillard's Law

Oil in water will never mix nor will truth in politics.

luck, rule, impossible, convince

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

174

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Devil and Me

"I promise you fame and riches," the Devil said to me, and you'll be hailed far and wide for your poetry.

deal, devil, women, beer

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

175

Paul Thomas Lillard

Proof

"This is trash what you've written," the publisher said to me.

poet, trash, proof, slip

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

175

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Turkey

It's a damn good thing old Ben Franklin didn't have his way when he came up with the notion on that bygone day.

benjamin franklin, funny, turkey

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

176

Paul Thomas Lillard

Caution

If you should go to Australia, let me make it clear, exercise a little caution when you drink Australian beer.

australia, beer, forget

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

176

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Finn

When it comes to fightin' men, I gotta say I admire the Finn.

finland, army, stalin