FOLK COLLECTION 11: The Skaggs Foundation Cowboy Poetry Collection

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

174

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Devil and Me

"I promise you fame and riches," the Devil said to me, and you'll be hailed far and wide for your poetry.

deal, devil, women, beer

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

175

Paul Thomas Lillard

Proof

"This is trash what you've written," the publisher said to me.

poet, trash, proof, slip

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

175

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Turkey

It's a damn good thing old Ben Franklin didn't have his way when he came up with the notion on that bygone day.

benjamin franklin, funny, turkey

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

176

Paul Thomas Lillard

Caution

If you should go to Australia, let me make it clear, exercise a little caution when you drink Australian beer.

australia, beer, forget

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

176

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Finn

When it comes to fightin' men, I gotta say I admire the Finn.

finland, army, stalin

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

177

Paul Thomas Lillard

Odd

I watch people drinking soda pop and it seems right queer that they're drinking soda pop when they could be drinking beer.

soda, beer, odd

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

177

Paul Thomas Lillard

Did You Know

In all the paintings of Washington, he wears a solemn face and I know why that was,

george washington, painting, smile, wood

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

178

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Boomerang

I never ever got the hang of learning to throw the boomerang.

boomerang, throw, cut, australian

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

178

Paul Thomas Lillard

A Lesson?

I watched a bug as it crossed the road. On the other side, there sat a toad. The bug he got 'bout halfway when the toad, he saw in ambush lay.

frog, bug, truck, life

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

179

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Alamo

Up in heaven if I should go I hope like hell there's an Alamo and if there ain't then in that case, I'd just as soon go to the other place.

heaven, hell, bar, alamo

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

179

Paul Thomas Lillard

Fractured History (Christopher Columbus

Ferdinand and Isabella of a glorious reign sat in their castle rulers of Spain. They'd just finished eating and were lazin' around when in came a minister who served the crown.

columbus, crazy, discovery, opposite

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

190

Paul Thomas Lillard

Victorian

Queen Victoria of that bygone-day was quite a prude, most folks say. The mention of sex was most taboo and she held that liquor was sinful too.

queen victoria, sex, drinking

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

191

Paul Thomas Lillard

Dentist

I always hated to go to the dentist. My fear was always great and when it came time for a visit, I would always procrastinate.

fear, dentist, procrastinate, mail

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

191

Paul Thomas Lillard

Retribution

Did Dr. Joseph Guillotine, for whom they named the slicing machine, think his countrymen were being rude

french, revolution, guillotine, irony

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

192

Paul Thomas Lillard

Knowledge

The ants that live in Africa in the past have found that when two elephants are making out they'd best get underground.

africa, ants, elephants, kiss

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

192

Paul Thomas Lillard

Folk Tales

I came upon a leprechaun while walking through the wood. He was digging a hole in the ground goin' as fast as he could.

irish, leprechaun, blarney, saint patrick

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

193

Paul Thomas Lillard

Things You Might Like to Know

There are no tigers in Africa, no elephants in Peru. The Red Sea really isn't red, the Danube isn't blue.

facts, random, world

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

194

Paul Thomas Lillard

Adam and Eve

Everyone knows about Adam and Eve in the Book it's writ,

adam, eve, cain, wife

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

194

Paul Thomas Lillard

Knowledge

In the Garden of Eden they had it made if by the rules they had played.

garden of eden, sin, fun

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

195

Paul Thomas Lillard

Nature

nature abhors a vacuum. That's what I've always heard and maybe that's the reason the universe occured,

vacuum, space, universe, nature

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

195

Paul Thomas Lillard

More Platy-Pi

I've heard about old Big Foot, the Loch Ness Monster too and heard about all those scientists who claim the myth's untrue,

big foot, platypus, disbelief

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

196

Paul Thomas Lillard

Fay Wray

When filming the picture, or so they say, the picture's director told Fay Wray,

director, king kong, actress

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

196

Paul Thomas Lillard

'Lectricity

Old Ben Franklin wanted to see could he learn 'bout 'lectricity,

electricity, ben franklin, kite, key

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

198

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Vulture

The vulture flies to a lofty height and he's gifted with remarkable sight.

vulture, sight, gift

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

198

Paul Thomas Lillard

Advice

If you wish old age to see, let sleeping dogs lie, let rattlers be.

sleeping dogs, rattler, see