FOLK COLLECTION 11: The Skaggs Foundation Cowboy Poetry Collection

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

191

Paul Thomas Lillard

Dentist

I always hated to go to the dentist. My fear was always great and when it came time for a visit, I would always procrastinate.

fear, dentist, procrastinate, mail

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

191

Paul Thomas Lillard

Retribution

Did Dr. Joseph Guillotine, for whom they named the slicing machine, think his countrymen were being rude

french, revolution, guillotine, irony

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

192

Paul Thomas Lillard

Knowledge

The ants that live in Africa in the past have found that when two elephants are making out they'd best get underground.

africa, ants, elephants, kiss

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

192

Paul Thomas Lillard

Folk Tales

I came upon a leprechaun while walking through the wood. He was digging a hole in the ground goin' as fast as he could.

irish, leprechaun, blarney, saint patrick

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

193

Paul Thomas Lillard

Things You Might Like to Know

There are no tigers in Africa, no elephants in Peru. The Red Sea really isn't red, the Danube isn't blue.

facts, random, world

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

194

Paul Thomas Lillard

Adam and Eve

Everyone knows about Adam and Eve in the Book it's writ,

adam, eve, cain, wife

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

194

Paul Thomas Lillard

Knowledge

In the Garden of Eden they had it made if by the rules they had played.

garden of eden, sin, fun

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

195

Paul Thomas Lillard

Nature

nature abhors a vacuum. That's what I've always heard and maybe that's the reason the universe occured,

vacuum, space, universe, nature

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

195

Paul Thomas Lillard

More Platy-Pi

I've heard about old Big Foot, the Loch Ness Monster too and heard about all those scientists who claim the myth's untrue,

big foot, platypus, disbelief

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

196

Paul Thomas Lillard

Fay Wray

When filming the picture, or so they say, the picture's director told Fay Wray,

director, king kong, actress

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

196

Paul Thomas Lillard

'Lectricity

Old Ben Franklin wanted to see could he learn 'bout 'lectricity,

electricity, ben franklin, kite, key

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

198

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Vulture

The vulture flies to a lofty height and he's gifted with remarkable sight.

vulture, sight, gift

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

198

Paul Thomas Lillard

Advice

If you wish old age to see, let sleeping dogs lie, let rattlers be.

sleeping dogs, rattler, see

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

198

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Cherry Tree

Washington said with a gleam in his eye, "There was a reason I didn't lie. I saw my sister watching me as I chopped down that cherry tree.

cherry tree, washington, honesty

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

199

Paul Thomas Lillard

Valid Reasons

"I'm leaving you," my ex-wife said, "and the reasons are galore. You're a no-good lazy bum and a whole lot more, but I coulda' put up with most of your faults and faults you do not lack, but the bathroom was the straw that broke the camel's back.

bathroom, reasons, divorce

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

200

Paul Thomas Lillard

More Knowledge

How many people in a horde or cows in a herd? How many fliers in a flock if you count each bird?

number, facts, answer

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

201

Paul Thomas Lillard

Small Problem

"Do you think that we should sail?" the captain asked of me. "We haven't got many galley slaves to man the oars, I see."

slave, ship, sail, row, whip

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

201

Paul Thomas Lillard

The Wise Man

There was once a very wise man who lived in Persia now called Iran.

wisdom, ancient, creation, science

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

204

Paul Thomas Lillard

Odds and Ends

If your luck runs out and you go for broke, ain't got a nickel in your poke,

broke, luck, fortune, bar

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

205

Paul Thomas Lillard

Age

When I was young and in my prime, I used to do it all the time, but now that I'm old and getting gray I can't do it every day.

age, bed, ability, lack

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

206

Paul Thomas Lillard

More Short Rounds II

My gout was caused, it was seen, by the eating of a chili bean

random, short, topics

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

208

Paul Thomas Lillard

Poets

Keats and Bryon, poets, you know, have gone to the place where good poets go.

subjects, poets, imagination

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

212

Paul Thomas Lillard

Modern World

War ain't simple any more, nothing more, nothing like it before. With all the gadgets they have today,

war, technology, complex

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

213

Paul Thomas Lillard

Prices

When I go to the grocery store, it seems I spend a whole lot more, but also seems I must confess, I walk out with a whole lot less.

money, groceries, store

Poems from the Alamo Saloon

FOLK COLL 11 L-45

213

Paul Thomas Lillard

Merry Old England

Sir Walter Raleigh, that English gent, things for him badly went. A virgin queen he wanted to bed and over that he lost his head.

england, royalty, tragedy