FOLK COLLECTION 11: The Skaggs Foundation Cowboy Poetry Collection

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Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

A Hundred Years Too Late

I psychoanalyzed myself And pondered at my fate. And realized that I was born A hundred years too late.

history, birth, lifestyle, cowboy

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

The Accident

My ol' friend Wayne had an accident Seems he'd treated himself to a nip And came home late with the bottle stashed In the pocket there on his right hip.

accident, drunk, mirror

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

The Elk Hunt

Lo, the weary hunter came No blood upon his hands. His darlin' wife, in sweet relief Bid welcome to her man.

hunters, trip, chat

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

Cowboy Heaven

I never did do it for the money I guess you done figgered that out But I's never broke, fer long anyways Gettin' rich ain't what it's about

heaven, cattle, ranch

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

Boller Gets a Word in Edgewise

Hi frendz and felo cowdogz, I, Baxter's faythfull unaprizeated 'good dog' and bezt frend, have subsutooted my collum for his. Becase he takes grate delite in piken on mans best frend, us, the all Amerakin cowdog, I cann't tell name... "go git In The Pikup, Yoo..." Ha, ha, funny as a pech pite in the Gravy Trane!

cowdog, letter, frustration

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

Karl's First Sale

Anybody that has ever put on their own livestock sale knows Murphy's Law. Lew and Benny hired on to help Karl make his first purebred offering a success. Karl (that's Karl with a K) was a good cowman who did things the old way. Hard work was all he knew. Lew claimed he was the toughest man he ever met. He was oblivious to pain. He was that rare combination of brute strength and awkwardness. He didn't understand the fine points of creative finaning or investor counseling. His neighbors even suggested that Karl was a little stupid. They were still sayin' it after their banks had foreclosed and they were doin' day work for Karl!

cattle, sale, livestock, chaos

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

The Phone Call

It's always been a mys'try In the winter when it's slow Why a rancher gets up early When he's got no place to go!

evening, phone, impatient

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

All Beef Nuggets

In the last twenty years there's been a significant trend toward larger cattle. Purebred breeders have consecrated their exotic genes 'til the modern bovine looks like a Great Dane on steroids. Our cattle have gotten bigger and bigger and bigger! It's gotten to the point where the Chianina people don't have to hire short Italians anymore to take that picture! But I'm wondering if maybe we're goin' the wrong way?

breed, miniature, cattle

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

The #2 Hairball

Ever buy one of those feeders That never seems to get well? Right off the truck to the sick pen Straight from receiving to hell!

sickness, hospital, cow

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

The Hired Man

When they put him on the payroll All the cowboys wondered "why?" 'Cause he didn't own a saddle, Couldn't rope and didn't try!

handyman, job, quit

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

Good Bye, Old Man

Somewhere deep in the old man's eyes A mem'ry took a hold. It fought the ageless undertow That drains and mocks the old.

memory, death, friend

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

The Oyster

The sign upon the cafe wall said OYSTERS: fifty cents. "How quaint," the blue eyed sweetheart said, with some bewildermence, "I didn't know they served such fare out here upon the plain?" "Oh, sure," her cowboy date replied, "We're really quite urbane."

oyster, testicles, steer

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

The Marker

The very first time I saw him, he was comin' off the truck. The order buyer had averaged down, or elese just plain got stuck! He went in a pen of feeders but when it came time to sell The packer buyer cut him off. The reason was plain as hell,

feed, cattle, sale, thin

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

Keep On Truckin'

Horses were meant to be ridden Chickens were meant to be fried Fish were meant to be cat food Pigs were meant to be styed Sheep were meant to be sweaters Eagles were meant to be bald But never, and I mean never, my friend, Were cattle meant to be hauled!

haul, truck, cattle, difficulty

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

Tinker and Lady

A stranger hangin' around cow workin's, sale barns or gatherin's might get the impression that little love exists between the cowboy and his dog. Only that the dog suffers from verbal abuse or that the cowboy is entitled to sue for mental exasperation. Neither is prone to open displays of affection. The cowboy acts tough and the dog acts bored.

dog, lost, love, chili

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

Eat More Beef!

I'm a fairly frequent victim of the EAT MORE BEEF! campaign. I've read the ads and seen the spots intended to explain That if I will eat real beef, I will be real people And have more iron inside me that a rusty army Jeep'll!

revenge, beef, bull

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

Farmer or Rancher

There is a distinction in the livestock business between ranchers and farmers. But how does a city slicker tell the difference? I have some guidelines that should be helpful.

rancher, farmer, difference

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

In Defense of the Chicken

Everyone says they love chicken, Ambrosia sent from above. But nobody loves a chicken, A chicken ain't easy to love.

chicken, crazy, food

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

The Consultant

Bein' in between jobs ain't no picnic. In fact, it's downright insultant. So I printed some cards, put signs in the yard, And bingo, became a consultant!

advice, consultant, job

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

The First County Agent

Clarence of Euphrates was just a simple man He graduated ag school from Tigress A&M

fair, history, county agent

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

Could be Worse

The banker took his ledger out, The rancher took a seat. "Let's see, I lent you twenty thou For cattle, corn and wheat.

banker, debt, loss

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

Piled Higher and Deeper

Ol' Bubber was cussin' his bad luck As we watched his buch crossin' the scale Which surprised me a bit, 'cause he had to admit His steers were the best at the sale!

steers, weight, science

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

The Vet'inary's Laundry

There is nothing more disgusting, More deserving to condemn Than a basket full of laundry From the local D.V.M!

veterinarian, laundry, smell

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

Poo Bah

I BELIEVE HE SAW ME COMIN' HORSE TRADERS USUALLY DO "I've got this chestnut gelding, Might be just the horse for you.

horse trader, lies, breed

Croutons on a Cow Pie

FOLK COLL 11 B-77

Baxter Black

Freckle's Advice

Though Freckles is an angel now, he ain't forgot his friends. He drops to earth and hangs around behind the buckin' pens. He pulls a rope or just makes sure a rider gets bucked free So I took it as an honor, the day he spoke to me...

angel, cow, help